SailorJ.com

Author: sailorj

  • Embracing the Next 25 Years at 54: Dreams, Love, and Abundant Joy

    As I stand at the crossroads of 54, there’s an invigorating sense of anticipation that courses through my veins. The next quarter-century stretches ahead, filled with countless opportunities, dreams waiting to be realized, and experiences ready to be embraced. It’s a remarkable feeling, akin to standing on the cusp of something truly magical.

    One thing that fuels my excitement is the notion of finding a partner to share this incredible journey with. Love, as I’ve come to realize, is like a powerful drug that infuses every aspect of our lives with meaning and vitality. Just as a drug can ignite our senses and make us feel alive, so too can love awaken our hearts and souls. It’s a force that brings out the best in us, inspires us to be better versions of ourselves, and reminds us that life is a beautiful tapestry of shared moments.

    At 54, I wholeheartedly believe that love isn’t a finite resource; it’s an abundant wellspring that flows endlessly. As I look forward to the next 25 years, I’m filled with a hopeful desire to cultivate and nurture love in all its forms. Whether it’s romantic love, the love of friends and family, or even the love we extend to ourselves, there’s an infinite capacity within us to give and receive this precious gift.

    As I ponder the dreams that I hold for the future, I’m reminded of the quote, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” And create it, I shall. There’s a world of experiences waiting to be discovered, dreams waiting to be chased, and goals waiting to be achieved. These next 25 years are my canvas, and I plan to paint it with the vibrant colors of adventure, growth, and fulfillment.

    Speaking of colors, I can’t help but think about the vibrant hues of health and happiness that I wish for my friends as we journey forward. As we navigate the complexities of life, I hope that each of my friends finds a path paved with good health, boundless joy, and the kind of laughter that lifts the spirit. It’s these cherished relationships that make life truly rich, and I’m excited to continue sharing memories, stories, and laughter with them in the years to come.

    So here’s to the next 25 years—a tapestry woven with dreams, fueled by love, and graced with the presence of dear friends. As I step into this new chapter of life, I’m reminded that age is just a number, but the enthusiasm and zest for life are timeless. Let’s embrace each day with an open heart, a determined spirit, and an unshakeable belief that the best is yet to come.

  • Can the social web be fixed?

    There are two aspects to social web… where your peeps are and features to communicate.

    Where your peeps are

    Social media has been around for quite a long time. Long before Facebook and people have moved from network to network. You follow your friends to the next big thing and hope that most people will join you. When the first iPhones came out there was a social network called iRovr. At the time, Apple was trying to convince developers to create web based apps that would be used with Safari. They tried for a while until they decided to create the App Store and that’s when Social really changed for the online community.

    We had a bunch of new Apps come around for social, like 4Square, Treehouse, and more. The communities were small to begin with and like anything, the cost to maintain the networks became overwhelming and difficult to do. And they have since gone by the waste side.

    But then the mega social media websites battled it out, MySpace and Facebook came on the scene, and Facebook won out with a more consistent look and feel.

    There were plenty of other online communities out there, whether you think of AOL and chat rooms, some dating apps created themselves as a ad hoc social media app as well. And do you even care where your peeps are? Or do you just want to find new peeps?

    Features

    Really it’s all about what it can do. What information can you share? How easy is it for you to use? What features do they offer?

    • Does it have a Web and App interface?
    • Is it offered on both iOS and Android?
    • Can you upload photos from your phone?
    • Does it have built in GIFs to respond to comments?
    • What kind of emojis can you use to respond to posts? Can you just ❤️ a post or have more reactions?
    • How do the comments work?
    • Can you search the network?
    • Is hashtagging a thing?
    • Can you tag your friends?
    • Are there communities within the app?
    • How are the privacy settings?
    • How much scrolling can you do?
    • What is the situation with videos, creating and remixing?

    Given everything we know the new social media offerings of 2023 seem to suggest that change is the only constant we have going on. Some will live and some will die on the vine. Here’s the big media players.

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • YouTube
    • X (Maybe) Formerly Twitter
    • Threads
    • Mastodon
    • BlueSky
    • Snapchat
    • TikTok

    What do you use? How do you like to engage the social media landscape?

  • It’s Your Choice

    It’s Your Choice

    You know, I am reading a number of my friends or acquaintances postings online, and I noticed that they tend to be either really great posts or really toxic posts. The truth is it is your choice on how you want to present yourself to the world. And I get it, the world is a really crazy place right now and there are things that make us angry and we want to rant and go online and do it. However, getting angry and trying to get your friends upset with toxic. Bullshit is a horrible thing to do in my opinion. We’re better than that. Let’s talk about making the world a better place and talk about how we’re going to do it instead of a whole bunch of toxic shit that just makes us all upset and ruins our day. We can do better we can be better than we are The some of the things that we write about and what we read about. I know there’s a lot of things that we need to discuss and fix but if it’s done in a spiteful, hateful manner just to cause division, then that really doesn’t help move the world forward let’s do better , it’s your choice.

  • Mastodon

    I’m loving the more open and friendly space that has been provided by this website.

    You can find me here. I’m @SailorJ at Mastodon.World

    Mastodon

  • Mastodon, the new twitter?

    So here we are, getting ready to end 2022, and the place you put your random bullshit was hijacked by Dr Evil, and you’re think, what the fuck do I do now?

    Of course there is the thought, you don’t like it, leave! And that is what so many are doing. I think that we have learned a lot about the definition of free speech lately. If you don’t think Money equals speech, then you skipped out on lesson one.

    He who owns the gold makes the rules

    We live in a world where a small abound of companies own the narrative of what we see and hear. Particularly that’s true when it comes to news. I don’t think that we worry too much about entertainment, but we are concerned about issues like justice and truth. There was a time when our superheroes were reporters. It was noble to be someone who sniffed out a story, because where there is smoke, there is fire.

    Superman and Lois Lane weekly found out about some evil plot and got in trouble then Superman saved the day Where are the Superheroes?

    Freedom in the Federation

    The federation sounds like a Star Trek term. You too can Join the Federation. Follow the Prime Directive, and be ethical in your world. Each instance has its own set of rules, and they are loosely interconnected. It’s amazing when you think about it. You can, with some cost start your own Mastodon server, and own your content 100%. That in itself is a big Fuck You to every other social media platform out there. Personally, I love blogging. I’m into writing, so my blog here is where it’s at, but connections happen in the social media universe.

    I’ve been on Mastodon for a few weeks and I like a lot of what I see. I’m hoping it only gets better, and people continue to show it love and stick with it. It can feel a little complicated. It’s not tik tok or Snapchat. Right now it is missing some features that people would love to have. But I say give it time. It will happen. And maybe App developers will show up with amazing apps as well.

    Who should own social media?

    Software development is a work of art and love. The creator should own it. What we know is that these large networks are comprised of more than just people who write code. It takes a lot of talented programmers and developers to make a network. And as these applications get huge followings, it demands the creation of a Company. And these companies generally go public.

    What Elon Musk did was more than hurt some employee of a once publicly traded company. He also betrayed the trust of the user base. Changing the TOS within an instant. I suppose it goes back to rule number one. This is the risk of handing over your persona and content to someone who owes you nothing and you give everything, you can be obliterated in a blink of an eye. So maybe that’s just too much power for one person to yield, without checks and balances.

    There is no such thing as Free Speech

    There is no such thing as free speech. You are not free from your consequences of your speech. You have Freedom of Speech. There is a difference. See https://www.uscourts.gov/about-federal-courts/educational-resources/about-educational-outreach/activity-resources/what-does

    Social media is an outreach of society. It’s a place where people do come together in the virtual world to come together, celebrate, argue, mourn, inform, discuss, learn, communicate, be entertained, and find love. I don’t know, we probably do a lot more than that. But in the end, we have to own our own boxes, and our own voice. That’s the point, you want Speech, well you just might have to pay for it.

  • Message in a Bottle

    It did not take long for the “Twitterverse” to respond to the purchase of the platform by attempting to fragment the Microblogging community. I’ve been watching a lot of different things happening and it seems like an apropos time to talk about it.

    Should you stay or do you go?

    Isn’t that what the Clash sang? I think I’ve heard a lot of strong arguments for both, but the question in my mind is who owns the intellectual content that you have created and uploaded to the platform. The Terms of Service that you had could be changed at any time. We have already seen that policies have changed quickly by the new CEO without regards to the affect that it has on the user base.

    I have a lot of content on the platform. It consists of Posts, Media, Likes, Direct Messages (DMs). Should I be concerned? Some pretty tech savvy people, like Leo Laporte have used services to remove all of their content from the platform, including unliking tweets, unretweeting, and deleting content. I have to say I am becoming a fan of this.

    The argument to stay

    is that you just keep doing your thing and let it bother the powers that be.

    The argument to leave

    is that you don’t let one person control your content and what you see. And by leaving you hurt the bottom line of a the company’s financials, since they won’t have as many active users to market to.

    For those leaving, where to do you go?

    This really depends because people want the Twitter experience without the drama. What is the twitter experience that people want? Anonymity, conversation, breaking information, and community. I think that’s what we came here for.

    You can go back to old school places, like Tumblr, Livejournal, Reddit, Facebook, Instagram, and I’m sure a lot more places are out there that you used to use.

    But there is a sort of vacuum that was created as people went into the diaspora that people leaving twitter have fallen into. So enter the biggest plan which is join the Federation, Mastodon, this link is one of many servers you can sign up for that will give you access to community and beyond. It’s a twitter-lite system. It’s missing some features, but I’m sure this will become enhanced in time. Just like any Social Media system, there are rules and moderation.

    You could go to MeWe.com, CounterSocial, WT.com, or find community in a Discord Server or Slack Channel.

    Old School Blogging

    But if you’re like me, old school is old school. Buy a web domain, and set up a WordPress or other blog and blog for real. You CAN do it! WordPress has a very large community and you can own your own content and still connect with others doing comments and liking their posts. It might not be great for following 1000 accounts and having endless scrolling, but I assure you, the quality will be better.

    Nothing Lasts for Ever

    Just remember, nothing lasts forever. There were tech giants that have come and gone. Where is Netscape, Yahoo, Excite, Ask.com, Lycos, MySpace, and AOL these days? Sure they might be around in some capacity, but they are not real players. They are the Kmart and Sears of tech. They had their day. We will continue to see the human online experience change and grow. It’s a sign of the times.

  • Can you see the real me?

    It is a fact that we can only see reflections of who we are. No one can see their true self.

    Recently I went on the Lensa app and let them do the deep AI art on my profile photo to see what they would come up with. It was crazy and amazing. I enjoyed seeing it, but it made me ask, how do I vision my own appearance to the world.

    Sure I look in the mirror and get weirded out about every hair out of place, but to see myself with a full head of hair and smoothed out wrinkles and just a bunch of changes and outfits was eye opening.

    Who am I?

    We always want to know if we are more than what we think we are. It just goes to show, we can visualize ourselves to be something different and embody that.

    Is any of this the real me?

  • The Value of Friendship

    Anyone who knows me knows that I value friendship. There are a lot of things in this world that one could talk about being important, but the bonds between people mean so much to me.

    Friendship is about giving one thing of yourself to someone else that you can never get back, and that is your time.

    We choose who and how we spend our time. Having shared experiences and recalling them with old friends over the years is more than nostalgia, it unlocks parts of our brains that make us feel alive and remember how full of life we are.

    We have acquaintances and we have friends. It is important to know the difference. If you look at a place like Facebook or LinkedIn and see your “Friends” or “Connections” you might ask yourself, are these really my friends? I think some are friends, and some are just casual online connections. Even if you’ve met them in real life.

    What is a friend?

    A friend is someone who actually wants to be part of your life. They are more than an online Facebook birthday wish (And believe me, I am all about the birthday wishes). A friend sees and hears, then picks up the phone and calls you, or drives over, or engages you. A friends checks up on you. A friend wants you in their life.

    But what about that friend that you don’t talk to for a year, then you re-connect and it’s like you bridge the gap of time and it’s like the quiet time didn’t matter? We all get busy. As we get older we do find ourselves getting busy. People have primary romantic relationships, kids, jobs, and there is only so much time to have connections; so it can be easy to think we’ll get back to that friend and forget.

    Forgiveness

    Friendship is about knowing you have an amazing history of shared experiences, and a breadth of life that at one point you intersected with and sometimes that intersection will diverge. That’s ok. But forgive yourself for not being as engaged. Forgive your friend for not being as engaged. When the opportunity comes, and there is time, make it happen. Forget the past, and let bygones be bygones. Holding on to hurt feelings will never let you move forward, and you’ll only have bitter memories.

    Don’t have disposable friends

    I do not have disposable friends. I would like to believe that I would go out of my way for my friends. Sometimes I have not be able to be where I wanted to be to help a friend, but life hasn’t always workout in the ways that I think they would. Be consistent. Show up as much as possible. I saw a meme that said, tell your friends you love them and make it weird. I agree. Why spend time with people you just tolerate, that’s work.

    I have been very fortunate to have people in my life that have shared the path on my journey, and stick with me. These are the people I value, they are in no way disposable. Sometimes they are distant, and sometimes they engage me in ways that make all the difference in the world. There is nothing more appreciated than someone who takes the time and reminds you that you are important to them. Take the time and be a friend.

  • America on the Brink

    Facts 

    January 6th, 2021, Congress and the Senate (Collectively known as the Congress), was to come together with Mike Pence, the current Vice President to count the electoral college votes. They did come together in the people’s house on the Hill in Washington, D.C. to carry out that very important final step in declaring the next President of the United States.

    It’s safe to say that this is a very divided country between Democrats and Republicans. But there is a very dark hard right element in America led by the current President, Donald Trump. He held a rally in the morning and directed his supporters to march on the Capitol. The result of that continues to be documented in the annals of history.

    1000’s of Make America Great Again, Trump loyalists and followers breached the Capitol building and stormed in with the intent to disrupt the counting of the electoral votes, and some have evidence to believe they were going to kidnap or kill the Vice President. 

    The angry mob, which meets the definition of domestic terrorism vandalized the Capitol Building, Office Space, including smearing feces in the building.

    There is a lot to read and understand about what happened. A lot can be read in the Wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021_storming_of_the_United_States_Capitol

    Commentary

    I am extremely concerned about conspiracy theorists having a foot hold in the minds of Americans. They present ideas that have no facts to support them. In this case that the election was rigged. Trump kept pushing that, with no factual evidence to suggest that any of it was true. Georgia manually recounted their ballots twice. It was not rigged in any sense. Our electoral process is one of the most secure and watched in the world. I have confidence in the system here in Florida where I live and in all the other states.

    Public Service is something that we have stopped believing in. There should be a requirement that to be President you should have to have given the oath of office somewhere in this country. Whether you are a city council member, join the military, or appointed to an office where you hold accountability to the public trust. It is a privilege to get to serve this country. We have to do it for selfless reasons. If we are not working on helping to lift up each other and do the right things that help every American, regardless of Race, Religion, economic back ground, etc, then we are failing as a country.

    This country is not very old, really. America is only 244 years old. Governments change, the world goes through changes, but watching our country, our Democracy tested by someone who would be a dictator if given the chance, and enabled by almost half the country is very sad. We have seen this in Germany in World War II. This is not a reach, this is historical fact. If you do not realize that the people that are involved are White Supremacist, then you are failing to understand that so many people are driven by hate and fear.

    Will America Survive?

    America has the right people in charge, because they believe in the rule of law. There are Democrats and Republicans that both believe in the rule of law. Anarchy can not rue the day. We fought a Civil War, we survived. Can Joe Biden be the man who brings us together? Will going after Trump as harshly as planned help people understand that America doesn’t allow itself to be ruled by despot leadership?

    I do think we will survive. I think we will be better for it. I believe that there will be sweeping changes in things like accountability, transparency and governance.

    SailorJ

    Democrats are not bringing in Communism or some radical socialism from a Soviet era as many on the right would have you believe. People need to get over it, and understand we will get through all of this if we work together. We will get past the Covid-19 epidemic, and this election, and we will see great days ahead. I have to think positive because what is the alternative?

    Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? I hope you see yourself happy.

  • Being a Best Friend

    So I really don’t do casual friendship for the most part. You’re either my friend or you’re not.

    You could be a. Acquaintance but that may just be a social connection. I have a lot of those for sure.

    But to be a FRIEND, that’s sort of being elevated to a level of importance in my life. It means I will connect with you, as my empathetic mind works.

    Friendships are relationships. Like it or not they are, and so much more. They are the place where we store secrets and they are the place where we laugh. It is the place where we smile and the place where we cry. 

    Friendships are the real connections that mean we help each other for no other reason than because we are friends. 

    Some friends don’t connect for a long time, but when they do, it was like they never skipped a beat. 

    Some friends check in regularly because they know they need that heart beat. 

    Friendships do change as we grow older, and time marches on. 

    We are busy with life and things that make it seem so hard. 

    But I am sure with the few friends I have, they are my diamonds in the rough, the realist friends that help me out when things are really tough. 

    Sending so much love to my friends. ?