Category: Love

  • Wasted Love, Wasted Time: The Ghosting Cycle and Its Destructive Toll

    Wasted Love, Wasted Time: The Ghosting Cycle and Its Destructive Toll

    Love is one of the most powerful forces in the world—a force that can build, heal, and inspire. But when love is wasted, when time is invested in someone who refuses to heal, the aftermath can be devastating. For many, ghosting has become a common escape route, a way to avoid dealing with emotions, confrontation, and self-growth. But this behavior isn’t just about vanishing from someone’s life; it’s about the ripple effect of destruction that follows in its wake.

    When a woman—broken, unhealed, and unwilling to face her own pain—chooses to ghost rather than communicate, she is not just protecting herself. She is actively harming the person who cared, who invested time, energy, and love into something real. The silence left behind is not empty; it is filled with confusion, self-doubt, and unresolved emotions for the one left behind. And in reality, the ghoster herself is often running in circles, trapped in her own cycle of avoidance and unhealed wounds.

    The modern world encourages detachment. We are told to move on quickly, to cut people off, to protect our peace at any cost. But what if the cost is too great? What if, in dodging pain, we create more of it? A woman who ghosts may think she is sparing herself discomfort, but she is also denying herself the opportunity to grow, to confront, and to heal in a way that fosters real emotional maturity.

    Love deserves closure, even if that closure is difficult. Conversations may be uncomfortable, but they are necessary. They offer clarity, respect, and an end to speculation. Without them, wounds linger longer than they should, and both parties suffer. The one ghosted questions their worth, while the ghoster remains trapped in a pattern of avoidance that will repeat itself in future relationships.

    To those who have been ghosted—know this: it was never about you. It was about someone who could not bear to face themselves. Your love was not wasted; your time was not in vain. Growth comes from pain, and through it, you will rise stronger.

    To those who ghost—healing does not come from running. It comes from facing what scares you, from learning to communicate, and from giving others the respect of closure. Growth only happens when we break cycles, not when we reinforce them.

    Love is never truly wasted, but time is precious. How we handle both speaks to the depth of our character. Choose growth over avoidance. Choose healing over hurt. Choose to face, rather than to fade.

  • Love: You Don’t Get a Choice

    Love: You Don’t Get a Choice

    I’m probably the first to admit that you don’t really get a choice in who you fall in love with. In my 55 years of living, I’ve learned that there are some people who will stick with you for your entire life. These are the people you will always hold a place for in your heart, the ones you’ll love forever.

    I don’t know why it works that way. One day, you meet someone, and from that moment, it’s like a part of you decides they’re your person. I have one of those people in my life.

    That’s not to say I haven’t loved others. Love is abundant, something we’re capable of feeling and sharing with many people. Yet, for some reason, we’ve been conditioned to believe love must be exclusive—that you can only focus on one person at a time. Relationships? That’s different. Relationships require boundaries, commitment, and exclusivity. But love? Love is bigger than that. You can have meaningful connections with multiple people, and it’s just as real every time.

    The tricky part is reciprocity. When someone reciprocates your feelings, it’s an incredible experience. But putting yourself out there, risking rejection—that’s where fear creeps in. That’s why we call it a “crush”—because the rejection can truly crush you. Before the reveal, it’s just infatuation, a sweet, unspoken thing. But once you confess your feelings, it becomes real.

    Back to the person who’s held my heart for what feels like a lifetime. I don’t think these feelings will ever fade. Does that stop me from pursuing other connections? Not at all. I’m not stuck. But if the opportunity arose, if the stars aligned, you can bet I’d take the leap.

    Why not? At this point in my life, what do I have to lose? That’s the thing about love: it feels risky. There’s a fear of losing something—your dignity, your pride, your heart. And maybe that’s why we keep silent.

    I’ve also learned that not every deep connection is romantic. Sometimes people think you’re in love with them when you’re not. You can gel with someone beautifully and still have it be purely platonic—a deep, amazing friendship. And friendships are treasures. But love? Love is something else entirely.

    Love isn’t about sex, beauty, or fleeting moments of passion. Sure, those things might play a part, but they aren’t the foundation. For me, it’s not about oxytocin or hormones. Love is something mental, almost magical. I’ve said before that I’m sapiosexual—drawn to intelligence—and there’s truth in that. I’ve let go of people in my life who couldn’t meet me as an equal. And yes, it’s better to be alone than to settle. Settling for a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you is one of the worst things you can do.

    If it’s not working, if it’s all fights and fear, get out. There should be no mediocrity in love. Mediocre relationships aren’t relationships—they’re conveniences at best.

    Here’s the truth: you’ll likely love multiple people in your life. Some loves will last a lifetime, and others will come and go like a random Tuesday. Each connection will bring its own magic, and some might stay while others fade. Love is recognizing that the person you’re with makes your life a little better every time you’re with them.

    It’s not just cuddling on the couch or romantic gestures. Love is mental. It’s the unspoken magic of being understood, of feeling seen. And when you find someone who gets you and wants you as much as you want them? That’s the rare, extraordinary thing.

    So when I say you don’t get a choice, I mean it. Love finds you, whether you’re ready or not. It’s like Cupid’s arrow—it strikes, and suddenly, you’re smitten. You meet this person, and you just know: They’re it.

    And after that, you’re stuck—in the best way possible.