“I Want To Go Back To January”
“It’s so, so easy to blame somebody else, especially when they’ve done something wrong and you know it. It’s easy because it’s not your mistake, so you have nothing to apologise for or feel guilt over. They hurt you when you tried your hardest to make them happy, and you can be proud of that, knowing that even though it’s over, it’s not over because of you. I’ve felt like that many times before, but this time is different. Painfully different. This time, I am to blame. I wrote this on a rainy Friday fifteen minutes after seeing the one person on this entire planet who can turn my day around in a split second. But when we saw each other, he didn’t look at me like he used to. In fact, he barely looked at me at all. And it’s like this now because I hurt him. This time, it’s my fault, and I can’t blame anybody else for it but me. I’m in this mess because I got myself here, and that right there is the most haunting feeling, because I know that the reason I’m so broken and alone and lost is because of a decision I chose. It happened because I made the mistake. And it will always and forever be my biggest regret and my greatest lesson. But sometimes in life, the lessons that mean the most to you and how you live your life are the ones that you learn just too late.”
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Very true…